Monster Mania Day 19: Bordello of Blood

Written by Stu Cooper

Day 19 in the Monster Mania review-a-thon is once again about "Tales From The Crypt"! The series returned to the cinema again in "Bordello of Blood". The film was the second in a planned trilogy. Unfortunately due to poor box office reception the third film was straight to dvd and had little to do with the universe. "Bordello of Blood" was heavy on the comedy and was not nearly as scary as "Demon Knight". I think that was the cause for the poor box office numbers and the bad reviews. I myself find this film quite enjoyable and a solid entry in the Cryptkeeper's book of tales. Let's dive into this film and talk about why it's worthy of Monster Mania!

"Bordello of Blood" starred Dennis Miller, Angie Everhart, Corey Feldman and Erika Eleniak. The film was released in August 1996 and made about 5.5 million total gross in theaters. The film was once again independent from the comics, but still an entry into the cryptkeeper's universe. The story was written by Bob Gale with some contribution by series creator William Gaines.

"Bordello of Blood" is a vampire movie at it's core. The film tells the story of an ancient vampire prostitute by the name of Lilith. This "Lilith" is a reference to the mother of all vampires. A scumbag version of Indiana Jones known as Vincent travels to the jungle with his associates in search of Lilith. Once he finds her tomb, he takes a key full of blood (the same one from Demon Knight) and pours it on Lilith's dead skeleton. This causes the skeleton to regenerate, and it attacks all of the migrant workers that got conned into helping Vincent. After she eats a few guys she regenerates her entire figure, which happens to be an extremely hot red headed woman. Vincent uses the key to keep her under control. She is deathly afraid of the key. This sticks with the demon theme established in "Demon Knight".

We are then introduced to Catherine and Caleb Verdoux, two local residents who are brother and sister. Caleb is a rebellious punk rocker type played by Corey Feldman. Caleb heads out to the local hole in the wall bar with some of his friends. While getting drunk and acting like total morons, the group is confronted by a skiddish biker who tells them there is a local brothel that the boys should checkout. Caleb and one other friend are the only ones interested in going. The two of them head out to the brothel, and it turns out the location is a funeral parlor. The boys knock on the door and are welcomed in by a igor-esque mortician. The mortician is a servant of Lilith's who lures them into the brothel. The boys are confronted with an army of beautiful lustful women and they see many other local gentlemen engaging the women. The two of them break off with women of their choosing only to be confronted by Lilith. Lilith then exposes her true intentions when she begins eating the boys alive! She LITERALLY eats one of their hearts out. It's quite a disturbing visual moment. For whatever reason she decides to keep Caleb alive, and he becomes a vampire minion of hers. I have to admit the brothel cover is quite clever and would totally work. Men get stupid when surrounded by beautiful women, and there are a lot of horny men out there. That's a lot of meals.

After her brother goes missing Catherine decides to approach the police. The police don't offer her much help so she enlists the aid of a goofy private detective named Rafe Guttman. Rafe is incredibly sarcastic, witty, and curious about the unknown. He offers to help Catherine track down her brother and that's where the real story begins. Rafe follows a trail of bread crumbs around the town which leads him to the brothel.

Meanwhile Catherine goes to work at a church. This is where we meet Reverend Current. Current is a corrupt self righteous televangelist and Catherine is his assistant. He cuts really cheesy sermons and often performs music while having giant lasers shot out around him. He is about as hammy as it gets. The thing that makes Current so great is the casting. He is played by horror icon Chris Sarandon who played Jerry Dandridge in the original "Fright Night". You find yourself rooting for his character despite him being a horrible human being. As the film progresses we find out that Reverend Current is so corrupt that he is even involved in Lilith and Vincent's plan. The Reverend craves more exposure, which is exactly what he would get if he confronted and dealt with the world's first vampire.

Rafe invades the brothel and barely escapes with his life. He goes to warn Catherine and the two of them team up. Meanwhile Lilith manipulates Vincent into destroying the key, which now makes Lilith immortal. Rafe and Catherine are eventually confronted by the vampire version of Caleb. He attacks Rafe and Catherine, and captures Catherine.

Rafe is caught by the police and locked up. Shortly after Reverend Current helps out Rafe and seeks forgiveness for being selfish. He vows to help Rafe defeat the vampires and repents for his wrongdoings. The two of them fill up squirt guns with holy water and lead an assault on the brothel. What happens beyond that point is an absolute bloodbath set to "Ballroom Blitz". It's a really fun scene in a fun film. After battling the army of vampire prostitutes Rafe and Current are confronted by Lilith. I don't want to spoil of the ending of the film, it is a gory bloodbath with a sprinkle of fun.

"Bordello of Blood" is the epitome of cheesy horror. The film is incredibly goofy and gory. You get to see some pretty twisted stuff that exists in a rather silly universe. Dennis Miller delivers most of his lines as if it's stand up, but you don't really care because he is battling hot vampires and Corey Feldman. Let's also not forget that Feldman played The Frog Brother in "The Lost Boys" so there is a bit of irony in his role. Angie Everhart as Lilith is truly unforgettable. She has no acting experience, and she doesn't need much, but what lines she does have are delivered well. She oozes sex appeal and is incredibly intimidating. You really get the vibe that she is a mature woman who has seen and done a lot of things. Most red blooded males would fall for her tricks, so that makes her a pretty scary villain in my eyes. The scares themselves are few and far between. The scare factor is mostly gore related. "Demon Knight" had a very dark subplot and a dark vibe, where as "Bordello of Blood" is almost like a Simpson's Treehouse of Horror tale. The tone of the film is borderline slapstick. Despite it's change in tone, I loved the movie. I'm actually sad that it performed badly because a third entry in theaters would have been nice. If you're a fan of "Tales from The Crypt" and horror comedies, this would be a great choice.

31 Days of Monster Mania: Day 18: Demon Knight

Written by Stu Cooper

It's time to meet up with one of my favorite characters in horror history, The Cryptkeeper! Last year I talked about some of my favorite "Tales From The Crypt" episodes but this year I'm going to address some of the feature films that the series created. The first "Tales From The Crypt" feature was known as "Demon Knight". The script was originally written almost 2 years before the show had even started, but it had been bounced around by multiple directors, never truly finding a home until Joel Silver got it. The film was initially supposed to be part of a Three-Part trilogy, but the other scripts weren't strong enough. "Demon Knight" was the only one out of the original 3 to get made. The other two proposed were called "Body Count" and "Dead Easy". Those two never made it to production and instead they made "Bordello of Blood" and "Ritual" as the follow-ups. The film was directed by Ernest Dickerson and released in January 1995, though the original intention was to release the film Halloween of 1994. The film stars William Sadler, Billy Zane, and Jada Pinkett Smith. The film also co-stars horror familiar Dick Miller, and Thomas Hayden Church.

"Demon Knight" tells the story of a man on the run from a demon. The demon wants an item that the man has in his possession, and he will do anything to obtain it. The film starts off with "The Collector" played by Billy Zane chasing a man named Brayker (Sadler). The two are involved in a high speed chase on the freeway which leads to a massive car crash. Brayker barely escapes with his life, while "The Collector" walks away with ease. Brayker goes to the nearest building he can find which happens to be a old crusty hotel full of colorful low-life individuals. The apprehensive hotel staff let Brayker stay there. This is when we are introduced to Jeryline (Pinkett) who is the rude degraded assistant at the hotel. She is apparently stuck there having to scrub the floors and clean up the beds (even after the prostitute is done with them). The film focuses heavily on Brayker, but also on the Jeryline character. Brayker joins some of the locals for dinner and that is when the hotel staff begin to suspect something is up with the guy. Soon after "The Collector" gathers the help of the police and tells them Brayker stole a very expensive item from him, and he aims to get it back.

After being introduced to a cast of misfits such as the disgruntled Postman (Charles Fleischer), the local prostitute (Brenda Bakke), the hotel Manager Irene (CCH Pounder) and many more, we get a true sense of the tone of this film. It's very slapstick in it's nature, but balances the slapstick with brutality. We get to know each of the guests in the hotel in some way or another. The postman goes on depressive rants, the prostitute shows she wants love but can't find it, Jeryline shows she wants an adventurous life. They each have some type of wish or hope.

When "The Collector" arrives at the hotel in search of Brayker, he uses the hopes and dreams of each individual against them. The Collector disposes of the police once he locates Brayker and the story escalates rather quickly from that point on. He makes it clear to the inhabitants of the hotel that Brayker possesses some type of antique key that he needs, and he is willing to grant any desire to obtain it. We find out through a series of conversations between Brayker and the hotel people that he is a chosen guardian. He is the guardian of the key. The key he is guarding actually contains the blood of Christ. It doesn't get anymore serious than that. I'd like to see somebody bring that thing into the Pawn Stars shop! The key seems to contain a semi-infinite amount of blood as long as it's in a guardian's hands. The blood can be used to created locked gates on property. If you put the blood on a doorway, it essentially blocks that doorway from allowing any demons inside. Brayker uses this to protect himself and the hotel people from The Collector.

The Collector quickly grows frustrated with the situation and decides to create an army of demons to patrol the hotel and take control of the key. The movie then turns into a zombie survival type situation where everyone is stuck inside the hotel, fighting for their lives against these bizarre demons. The demons themselves look a bit like the crypt keeper, which makes you wonder if they are somehow related to him. That unfortunately is never elaborated on. To provide some levity in the movie, The Collector is actually quite the goofball. Billy Zane plays the part perfectly. He balances a sense of demonic evil with a goofy comedian like persona. He often dances around and makes jokes, while threatening the lives of the humans. He also possesses the power to cause hallucinations, which can lead to possessing or manipulating humans into doing his bidding. He can make the humans see their deepest darkest desires, and he offers them a chance to grant that wish. Of course like any Faust or Devil character, he is full of shit. Any human that falls for his manipulation is doomed. It's up to those with strong will power to defeat The Collector.

Through out the film we are given some background on Brayker and the key that he has in his possession. We find out that this key contains the blood of christ from his actual crucifixion and the demons were actually present for that moment. The war for good and evil has been waged ever since. If the demons get a hold of the key, they will win the war and essentially conquer humanity. Brayker is one of many in a long line of guardians that have existed since the time of Jesus. He is actually ready to pass on the key to a new guardian, which is where Jada Pinkett comes in. I'm not a huge fan of her, so the fact that she is the next guardian in line didn't do much for me. Her acting is pretty bland, and her character is really obnoxious. You will find yourself wondering what makes her special enough to carry such a heavy burden.

I don't want to spoil the end result for you, but I will say the film is full of action and classic Faust story telling. It's one part zombie movie and one part "Bedazzled". The supporting characters also provide a lot of fun dialogue, and most of them are good actors. Thomas Hayden Church is always good in whatever he does, and Brenda Bakke is incredibly sexy in her role. William Sadler does a good job playing the role of Brayken and at this point he was actually a "Tales From The Crypt" veteran. He had appeared in a couple episodes, and even appears as The Crypt Keeper's mummified friend in "Bordello of Blood". Sadler is a quality actor and it shows. Billy Zane is the perfect counter for Sadler's serious attitude.

Overall "Demon Knight" is a fun and entertaining horror movie. I find myself watching the film often, and I never get sick of it. It has a great cast, an interesting story, and a truly kick ass soundtrack. I'd actually recommend picking up the soundtrack by itself. It features a lot of good rap and even some Henry Rollins. Out of the three "Tales from the Crypt" films that were released, this one is by far the best. If you want a spooky story with a little bit of humor, this is an excellent choice.

Monster Mania Day 10: Tales From The Crypt Quick Picks

Written by Stu Cooper

My favorite type of television is anthology based TV. It is actually a dying artform at the moment now that episodic story arc television is popular. But back when I was younger we had shows like The Twilight Zone, Tales from The Darkside, Are you Afraid of the Dark?, and of course the king of anthology shows...Tales From The Crypt! When I was young my family actually had HBO for most of the 90's and I was fortunate enough to see some of the episodes very early on, before they started airing on FOX. Of course I probably shouldn't have been watching it given the mature content (the sex, violence, etc). But that certainly didn't stop me. The host of the show is originally what attracted me to it. The Cryptkeeper is about as memorable as it gets with his cackling laugh and stupid jokes. He also often gets into a funny situation in each episode, or in some cases interacts with celebrities. The character ended up evolving into a symbol of horror in the 90's. It is hard for me to narrow down my favorite episodes because I'm sure there are ones I've forgotten, so I'm going to post a few of the ones I remember the most. The DVD's are pretty cheap so I would recommend picking up the whole series. I keep hoping and praying that HBO will revive the series one day. It's still a great format for a show and there is already a huge audience for it. The cartoon and comics are pretty great as well if you get the chance to check them out.