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Tuesday, March 31, 2020

Tammy and The T-REX Retrospective

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Written by Stu Cooper

It's a tale as old as time. The popular high school cheerleader falls in love with the quarterback, they share a small embrace, then the quarterback is mauled to death by a lion and has his brain implanted into a dinosaur. Practically your community theater's take on Romeo and Juliet right? Well this is just a peak into the world of Stewart Raffill's absolutely outrageous masterpiece “Tammy and The T-Rex”.

“Tammy and The T-Rex” is a 1994 direct-to-video horror comedy written and directed by Stewart Raffill, whom you may remember from his prolific work on “Mac & Me”! It was released during a weird post-Jurassic Park boom period. This period involved gems like the DINOSAURS tv show, Carnosaur, Prehystoria, Theodore Rex, etc. America had a huge fascination with Dinosaurs at the time, which birthed many animatronic dinosaur movies. This one however is a diamond in the rough. Or mosquito in the fossilized tree sap might be more appropriate.

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The movie stars Denise Richards, Paul Walker, and Terry Kiser. Richards and Walker actually made their big screen debuts in this film, unless you count Richard's minor cameo in “National Lampoon's Loaded Weapon 1”. Then you have Terry Kiser who had received some moderate success in films such as “Weekend At Bernies” and “Friday the 13th Part 7”. With that banger of a cast, what could go wrong? Whoops sorry, I left out the most important and subtle actor in the film...A GIGANTIC ANIMATRONIC TYRANNOSAURUS REX!

The film opens in the beautiful suburbs of California where we see two high school students falling madly in love after leering at each other a few times during some kind of gym class. This is where we meet the film's protagonists Tammy (Richards) and Michael (Walker). The film establishes their relationship by showing Michael give Tammy a flower, then he proceeds to eat the flower to get a cheap laugh. Tammy is eating this guy up and you can actually sense some genuine chemistry when you see the two giggling it up. Unfortunately for Michael he is almost immediately cock blocked by Tammy's 40 year old high school ex-boyfriend Billy, who is not only psychotic, but absolutely unhinged. Michael and psycho Billy engage in what the film refers to as a “testicular standoff” which goes on for a solid 2 minutes.

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After escaping the testicular stand off, Michael unfortunately encounters the evil ex-boyfriend once again when he sneaks out to see Tammy and before he gets any action, Billy cuts him off at the pass and chases him down. This chase leads to Michael getting brutally beaten by Billy and his gang, then the film takes a completely random left turn. Billy decides to not just kill Michael, but to kidnap him and drop him off inside of a lion wildlife preserve. Needless to say, this does not end well for Michael. He is mauled by a lion and saved at the last second by a local ranger. With Michael on life support, we meet the film's antagonist Dr. Gunther Wachenstein who is in possession of a gigantic animatronic T-Rex...but he needs a fresh human brain. Since the town is apparently very small and word gets around quickly, the Doctor shows up at the hospital, fakes Michael's death, and steals his brain. And THIS is really where the masterpiece begins.

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Tammy is absolutely shattered by the sudden loss of her one day boyfriend and confides in her comedic relief sidekick Byron Black. Byron is very derivative of the character HOLLYWOOD from the 80's gem “Mannequin”. The classic loud guy with loud clothes who is surrounded by redneck cops scared of his sexuality. It's pretty par for the course in cheesy small town cinema. While Tammy is coping, the evil Doctor is hard at work. And by hard at work I mean he is literally carving up Michael's brain and hooking it up to a giant robot T-Rex. To what end? No one is really sure. Global domination may take a while with arms that short, but you gotta start somewhere. After some rather gruesome operation scenes and a monologue from the completely bonkers Dr. Wachenstein, the chaos meter starts to ramp up.

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Michael The T-Rex escapes the “medical facility” and begins his revenge rampage. We see the T-Rex mow through lab assistants, bodybuilders, stoners, perverts, and of course Billy's gang! This is where the film really gets to shine because we see the limited budget work it's way around the T-Rex as he is clearly moving around on a dolly and has a human puppeteer the arms and legs of the creature. The comedic timing of the violence combined with the practical effects of the kills is nothing but glorious.

After cleaning house at a high school party, Michael the T-Rex sets his eyes on his love for Tammy. Through heavy breathing phone calls and a game of charades, Michael is able to communicate to Tammy that he is a dinosaur, with her lover's brain inside of him. After this bombshell is dropped, Tammy seems to handle it pretty well. She handles it so well in fact that she decides to break into a morgue and thumb through bodies, comically offering them up to the T-Rex. Unfortunately he finds all of these options unsatisfactory. Even if he did, how would Tammy go about transferring this brain into the T-Rex? That is glossed over pretty quickly as the movie basically shrugs off anything remotely related to science. After some comedic shots of the T-Rex being driven around town in a dump trunk, the police are hot on it's tail! Literally!

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In what is probably the film's most iconic scene, we see Tammy riding on the back of Michael The T-Rex as a beautiful sunset cascades behind them. This shot was used for most of the trailers and box-art. It's easily the coolest shot in the film. But the beauty is quickly shut down after Tammy hides Michael in a farmhouse, and the police corner the creature. Before the police have a chance to access the situation, the maniacal Dr. Wachenstein and his sexy assistant decide to have a chat with the T-Rex and try to appeal to his sensibilities. Spoiler alert: It doesn't work. Soon after the final confrontation with the Doc, the cops proceed to gun down the T-Rex and he plops over in a blaze of animatronic immobile glory. In an Academy award winning performance Denise Richards weeps over the lifeless robot body of her lover. It's seemingly all over for Michael...or so we think.

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In the film's final moments we are treated to a striptease. It's not just any striptease, but Tammy dancing in lingerie for a camera that is attached to a brain. Not just any brain, it's Michael's brain! The logistics of a camcorder hooked up to a brain aside, this is probably the most sensual scene in the movie. As the credits begin to roll, one can't help but think what now? Does Tammy live her entire life in love with a RCA camcorder brain voiced by Paul Walker? Will she find another animatronic animal for him to inhabit? The sequel possibilities were endless, but sadly unrealized.

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“Tammy and The T-Rex” is lightning in a bottle when it comes to B movie schlock. My first exposure to the film was actually on USA's UP ALL NIGHT Hosted by Rhonda Shear. For some reason they showed the now famous “gore cut” of the film and not the family friendly cut that was released on VHS. Vinegar Syndrome released a Blu-ray and 4k release of the film in 2019, which features over 10 minutes of added gore. The original release of the film was a bare bones VHS designed to look like a family film, which it's certainly not. The film itself actually has a pretty fun backstory, as it was mainly created solely because the director had access to a robotic T-Rex on loan from a friend for three weeks. The director decided to write an entire film around it, and so began the birth of this cinematic gem. Oh and that beautiful shot of Tammy riding the T-Rex under a cascading sunset? That was actually a gigantic fire in the hillsides of California. People probably died, but is there a more noble sacrifice than that? I don't think so. Do yourself a favor and track this film down. It was difficult to find for almost a decade, but thanks to Vinegar Syndrome and the Director, it saw a re-release in theaters and home video. It is also currently available on Hulu and Shudder! This is the perfect way to spend 90 minutes. Just tune in, drop out, and enjoy watching a Tyrannosaurus Rex use a payphone.

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