Djesus Uncrossed

Written by Stu Cooper

On the most recent edition of Saturday Night Live there was a particular skit that has created a bit of a controversy. The skit revolves around the possibility of Tarantino making a movie about Jesus rising from the grave to take revenge on those who wronged him. The name of the mock film is “Djesus Uncrossed” and it was one of the funniest things I’ve seen on SNL in years. The last time I laughed this hard at a parody on SNL was when they did the mock trailer for “Unbreakable” (The Denzel Washington underwhelming train flick.)

The trailer shows Jesus in classic Tarantino style, hunting down his enemies and laying waste to them. Christoph Waltz’s straight faced portrayal of Jesus adds to the hilarity. It’s obvious that it’s all in good humor considering guns are being used in the trailer, and one liners are being spouted. I almost did a spit take when Jesus said "When you get to heaven, tell my father I said Hi!". My face hurts from smiling as I type this, thinking of all the funny little moments. Instead of describing it further, I suggest you checkout the parody in this post. If you are offended easily, it may not be for you, but if that is the case then I don’t know why you are reading this blog to begin with. In some countries a parody like this would cause political uproar, but in America we are lucky enough to have a strong sense of humor, and when compared to something like “Passion of the Christ”, this is really nothing to be upset about. Let the offensive humor begin! Enjoy…

Bonus Video: Christoph Waltz demonstrating his acting method...

Dallas Comic-Con presents The Sci-fi Expo 2013

Written by Stu Cooper

This past weekend I was able to attend the Sci-fi Expo in Dallas,Texas. The show was presented by the same group that does the Dallas Comic-Con and Dallas Fan Days conventions every year. I had a bad taste in my mouth regarding these cons due to a less than thrilling visit with the Dallas Comic-con last year, but a lot of the issues I had with the con last year had actually been resolved. There wasn't overcrowding or ridiculous 3 hour entry lines. Everything ran rather smoothly. It was a pleasant surprise and enabled me to really enjoy the convention.

I must say after attending 14 or so conventions I thought I may start to become jaded but I've found that coming to the conventions in costume, and meeting other costumed attendees is really where the fun lies. I enjoy the autographs but after tons of celebs, you become numb to the guest announcements. I just recently started dressing up at conventions this past October. It is an entirely different experience! It's quite fun being approached by people for pictures and it is a great conversation starter. I've made several friends this way. Unfortunately I was only able to attend one day but in that one day I was able to meet several interesting people, talented cosplayers, artists, and Avery Brooks , known most famously for his role as Benjamin Sisko on Star Trek: Deep Space Nine. Another show under my belt and another adventure to remember.

Film Enigma is Back!

Written by Stu Cooper

That's right folks, Film Enigma is back in full effect! After a long absence I have decided to revive the blog and make it better than ever. In the coming weeks you will see lots of new reviews and posts. I plan on reviewing several blu-rays, new releases, video games, and will have a new "Nerd Girl of the Month" feature. I'm currently looking for experienced writers who would like to cover any of those subjects. If you think you'd like to contribute please feel free to shoot me an email at FilmEnigmaBlog@gmail , thank you all for checking out the site. I'm also interested in receiving screeners for any type of film. I'm very open to participating with other blogs/sites/companies. Please take a look around and enjoy!

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Debut on NICK "Rise Of The Turtles"

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (2012) Episode One: "The Rise Of The Turtles"
Written by Stuart Cooper
Starring: Sean Astin, Jason Biggs, Rob Paulsen

Anyone reading this who knows me in real life will know that I’m a huge Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles fan. I grew up during the time period when TMNT was at its absolute peak. I have fond memories of wondering around the isles at Toys R’ Us mystified by the endless stream of Turtles related toys and vehicles! Christmas 1991 I actually received the ninja turtle’s sewer base, the pizza shooter vehicle, and several action figures from the show. It was probably one of my most memorable Christmas’s ever. I also remember renting the VHS tapes of the episodes over and over and over again. So it’s no mystery that I love Ninja Turtles. But now that I’m an adult and my imagination has diminished a bit, could I still enjoy a new TMNT related product? The answer is yes. This past week NICK debuted their new incarnation of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. I had been hearing about this new show for several months but hadn’t seen much footage. I saw the toys at my local Wal-Mart recently and was pretty impressed with what I saw (aside from Krang which we will get to). I basically went into this debut blind with low expectations, and I finished the viewing impressed. The show debuted in a one hour feature called “Rise of the Turtles”. The story would closely follow some ideas set up in the original series except slightly altered. Let’s dive right into it shall we!

The show begins with showing us each turtle practicing their skills in their underground sewer headquarters. The movements of the characters are very quick, and the animation is very smooth and colorful. The style of the turtles is definitely kiddy and kind of reminds me of that “Chibi” Japanese style animation where the characters heads get real big and their bodies stay the same. Takes some getting used to, but I understand there is no sense in redoing the show unless you make some changes. The turtles are voiced by some pretty notable celebrities…Sean Astin voices Raphael, Jason Biggs voices Leonardo, Greg Cipes plays Michelangelo and Rob Paulsen from THE ORIGINAL TMNT returns except this time he voices Donatello instead of Raphael. Pretty funny that he voices a different character this time around. Why wouldn’t you just recast him in the same role? Does it really make that much of a difference? These voice choices end up being pretty good and maintain those lovable turtle voices we all enjoy.

Splinter and April O’Neil are then introduced and while Splinter is pretty similar to his previous incarnations, April O’Neil appears to be a young teenage girl and not a reporter (at least that they’ve shown so far). It was also made clear that one of the turtles had the hots for April. This is something that was teased in the movies and older shows but never really addressed. I’m not sure how I feel about a martial artist radiation filled turtle wanting to be with a teenage girl…will be interesting to see if they follow up on that. The enemy in the episode comes in the form of zombified humans that appear to be under control of “The Krang”, notice I said the Krang and not just Krang…it’s because there is apparently an entire army of Krangs this time as oppose to one giant menacing Krang. This was really the only complaint I had. Krang in this version appears to be a race of robots with living beings inside their stomachs. While I realize the original came from a planet of other Krangs, they were never really villains in the series. This is fine I suppose, but I’ll be interested to see if they reveal some type of Master/leader Krang. The turtles basically spend the entire episode investigating these Krang beings and eventually we are shown a brief glimpse of Shredder who resembles Shao Kahn (Mortal Kombat) quite a bit. I’m pretty interested to see the turtles square off against him.

Overall I think the new show has promise. The turtles are still the goofy joke cracking heroes they were before, but this incarnation seems to offer a bit more serious aspect (I said A BIT, so don’t get too excited). What I’m referring to is one particular scene where the turtles capture a thug and threaten to torture him by pouring ooze on his face and turning him into a monster. I thought that was something the old cheesy turtles would have never done. So there is certainly a difference. The animation is smooth, the voices are spot on, and the original content is still ingrained. I think if you are a TMNT fan at heart you will enjoy the show and give it a chance. Oh and the new theme song is actually pretty catchy!

Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter Review

Written by Stuart Cooper

Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter (2012)

Starring Benjamin Walker, Dominic Cooper, Rufus Sewell and Mary Elizabeth Winstead

One of the many summer films I had been looking forward to was Abe Lincoln: Vampire Hunter. The movie is adapted from a popular book of the same title. I did not read the book so I won’t be able to compare the text to the film, but from what I’ve heard from others, there are a few differences. If you would like to let me know what those differences are then feel free to comment below. The film is pretty much exactly what the title says. It’s an alternate take on the life of Abraham Lincoln. In this version of his life he loses his mother at a very young age after witnessing a vampire murder her in the middle of the night, this causes Abe to form a distinct hatred of vampires and he in turn devotes a large portion of his life to destroying them. The film is definitely not the most historically accurate film, nor is it supposed to be. If you overanalyze the subject matter you probably won’t enjoy it. It is more-so along the lines of films like Wild Wild West and Jonah Hex, except much more entertaining. I wouldn’t have minded a few giant mechanical spiders in the film though.

The story itself starts off with Lincoln as a young boy, and then quickly jumps to his life as a young adult. There is no mention of his life in Kentucky which was unfortunate considering I’m a Kentucky native myself and would have liked to have seen more about that. Also thought we’d see something about his wrestling hobby, but I guess they only had so much time and couldn’t really touch on all the aspects of Lincoln’s life. Lincoln’s main goal at the beginning of the film is to track down the exact vampire that was responsible for killing his mother. This is not very hard since the vampire has been running the same shipping port since he was a child and still works in the same exact place. One thing that is rather convenient in the film is that the vampires can work and function in the daylight if they wear sunglasses and put on some type of extra strength suntan lotion. I thought this was a bit goofy but given the tone of the film I accepted it. It also helps explain why the vampires could be present on the battlefield during the Civil war (which I will get to later). In his search for vengeance Lincoln meets a few interesting characters along the way, some familiar to history buffs, some not. Lincoln encounters a man by the name of Henry Sturgess who actually becomes a Jedi master of sorts for young Lincoln. Henry is the one responsible for giving Lincoln some much needed focus and skill that he would need in his battle against the vampires. There is a great chemistry between Lincoln and Henry and I really enjoyed that aspect of the film. They had a nice Sherlock and Watson thing going on. Since Henry seemed to have a slight British accent I couldn’t help but imagine a BBC spin-off detailing the adventures of these two. As the film progresses Lincoln’s training is finished and he eventually becomes a vampire assassin of sorts. We see all sorts of cool “vampire hunting” sequences as a result, which delivers every time. The only pet peeve I have about some of the action sequences are the fact that at times Lincoln displays skills that no normal human would have. He seems to have super strength and super agility, despite the fact that he is not a vampire. This is never really explained other than the fact that he is just…a badass. Seeing Lincoln make use of the axe he wields is probably the highlight of the film. The moments when Lincoln is swinging his axe around like the lost member of the ninja turtles…priceless.

As far as the historical ties that the film has, there are a few. Several key players in history from that time period appear in the film. We see Lincoln’s wife Mary Todd Lincoln played by the always beautiful Mary Elizabeth Winstead, a small appearance by Harriet Tubman, and the incredibly charismatic Alan Tudyk as Lincoln’s political rival Stephen Douglas. The portrayal of Lincoln’s wife worked out pretty well but I was pretty letdown by the short screen time given to Alan Tudyk. Tudyk is one of my favorite actors and I think the film would have been served well by giving him a bigger role. There is also an interesting alternate take on the battle of Gettysburg which makes for a fun “what if” scenario. Unfortunately the film does not feature Stonewall Jackson and I thought that was a missed opportunity considering the asylum used his character in “Abe Lincoln vs. Zombies” and it actually worked in that one.

Overall Abe Lincoln: Vampire Hunter is a fun shallow action film with some delightful action sequences and some quality acting from Benjamin Walker, Dominic Cooper, and Mary Elizabeth Winstead. The film could have been a lot better but the short comings were few and far between. If you are ready to sit back and relax and just enjoy a film, this would be a good one to choose. It’s definitely what you would call a “popcorn flick”. If you love either Abe Lincoln or vampires, then you will probably enjoy this film.

Men In Black III Review

Written by Stuart Cooper

Men in Black III (2012)

Starring Will Smith, Tommy Lee Jones, and Josh Brolin

Well its summer blockbuster season and you know what that means…sequels! This summer features another Batman film, an Alien prequel, a Spider-man remake, and the latest installment in the Men in Black franchise. Today I will be discussing “Men in Black III”, a film I was surprised by and enjoyed quite a bit. Both Tommy Lee Jones and Will Smith return for this sequel, and Josh Brolin plays a pivotal role in the film as Young K (Tommy Lee Jones). Many have a bad taste in their mouths regarding Men in Black after the very lackluster and terrible Men in Black II, but I assure you this one is much better. The story is more interesting and the acting is top notch. The film actually reminded me a bit of the short lived animated TV series that the WB created. It’s like the first film with more aliens and a weirder storyline.

In this installment of Men in Black we see the classic team of J and K (who has aged quite a bit since the original) embarking on a mission involving time travel. I don’t want to reveal too much about the plot because I don’t want to spoil anything for anyone, but basically J (Will Smith) gets caught in the middle of a rivalry between K and an old nemesis of his by the name of Boris the Animal. Boris is played by the always awesome Jemaine Clement from Flight of the Conchords. Clement seems to have no problems adjusting from a comedy band/show to feature films. I really loved him in Gentleman Bronco and Dinner for Schmucks. Boris the Animal is a criminal that was caught by K in the 60’s and has since been detained in a prison facility on the moon. That’s right, a prison…on the moon. That idea sounds pretty awesome to me. This prison seems to be reserved for the most dangerous criminals, and you will definitely see why Boris is such a threat as the film progresses. The film opens with Boris escaping the prison. Boris eventually makes his way back to earth and gets his hands on a time travel device. This is when the evil plot begins to take shape. Boris intends to go back in time and stop K from injuring and arresting him. He aims to kill K. Agent J soon finds out about this plan and it is up to him to stop it. This means that Agent J must go back in time and find Boris before he kills K. The story is immediately better than the last film and the fact that they don’t waste time on a romantic interest in this one certainly helps. Sorry Rosario Dawson but you kind of ruined the second film. So put your concerns to rest and enjoy the film because it is pretty much a comedy action thrill ride from the beginning.

When J travels back in time he must team up with a young K, played by Josh Brolin. Brolin does a superb job of mimicking Tommy Lee Jones and if you close your eyes and just listen to his voice, you would swear they were the same person. The two men together have the same comedy element that exists between Jones and Smith. One is the loud mouth goofy type, and the other is a stone cold robot of a man who finds little to smile about. The dynamic works perfectly and though I love Tommy Lee Jones, I was equally pleased with Brolin’s performance in the film. One aspect they play with is life in the 60’s. We see some racial humor with Will Smith that is pretty funny, though they play it safe and I seriously doubt little kids going to see this film would pick up on some of it. There is a funny moment when J goes back in time and immediately gets pulled over by the cops. My favorite part in the film is when J and K both meet up with Andy Warhol at one of his parties, and Warhol is played by the always hilarious Bill Hader. This scene has to be seen to be believed, truly funny stuff. Another character in the film that is an integral to the story is Griffin, an alien that can see multiple time dimensions at once. The character is played by up and coming actor Michael Stuhlberg who portrays Arnold Rothstein on Boardwalk Empire. I had no idea this guy had such a comical side and I ended up really enjoying his character. So the casting is definitely very pleasing. I think every character in the film offers up a unique style that adds to the universe that Men in Black takes place in.

The film maintains its comedic tone and you are treated to joke after joke from Smith’s character J. Some of the jokes are funny, some are not so funny. But what is important is that the film brings you that feel good chaotic alien action that was so good in the original. I wouldn’t say MIB III is as good as the original, but it is certainly a worthy sequel. If anything, go see this movie for Boris the Animal, possibly the coolest villain I’ve seen in years. The only things missing from this film were Rip Torn as Zed, and the classic “here come the men in black” song from the original that we all secretly love. My only complaints are that the final showdown is a little lackluster, and they could have done a bit more with J and K teaming up in the 60’s, but other than that it is quite an enjoyable addition to the franchise. I would suggest going to see this one in theaters if it’s still there, or wait for the Blu-ray. I didn’t waste my time on the 3-D version of the film, so I can’t speak for the 3-D effects. All you need to know is that it’s a better sequel then part 2 and that was good enough for me.

Rest in Peace Richard Lynch (1940-2012)

Written by Stuart Cooper

Today the world lost a true cinematic villain in Richard Lynch. Lynch portrayed many classic evil and villainous roles throughout the years. Richard was born in 1940 and was most active throughout the 70’s and 80’s. Personally my favorite role I remember him in was the villain in the Chuck Norris classic action film “Invasion USA” where he portrayed the ruthless ex-military bad guy. Lynch made his name mostly through the horror and science fiction genres. Rob Zombie recently used him in “Halloween” and apparently he has a role in the upcoming “Lords of Salem” project, which sadly will be his last role. He passed away at the age of 76. Those who knew him had nothing but amazing things to say about him and his acting talents. The cause of death is unknown at this time. You will be missed buddy, I’ll see you inside the big theater in the sky, save me a good seat.