Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Review

Written by Stu Cooper

This past week marked the release of the newest live action installment of “Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles” and it was an odd one. Before it's release the film was riddled with rumors of re-shoots, script rewrites and an outcry of negativity from the original Turtles fan-base, so to say I had low expectations is a drastic understatement. My expectations were met with mediocre action, a convoluted villain story, and the most wooden April O'Neil you will ever see. With that said, it wasn't nearly as bad as I thought it would be. I realized before I went into the theater that I cannot let myself be a victim to nostalgia and I have to look at the film as if I were a 9 year old kid, and not a full grown man who has seen every cinematic trope 1,000 times. With that kind of mind set, I still found myself bored with the film but it showed signs of hope.

“Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles” is the fifth full length Ninja Turtles film and is the fourth live action incarnation. The film is directed by Johnathan Liebesman and is produced by Michael Bay and his company Platinum Dunes. The film is a reboot and started around 2009 when TMNT co-creator Peter Laird sold the rights to Nickelodeon. The immediate result was the brand new television show which has since become quite popular. The film itself has been in production for a few years and has been met with mostly negative feedback ever since early drafts of the script emerged. Bay supposedly responded to some of this feedback and the film had many re-shoots. The film stars Megan Fox as April O'Neil, Will Arnett as the Channel 6 cameraman Vern, Johnny Knoxville as Leonardo, as well as Alan Ritchson, Noel Fisher, and Jeremy Howard playing the other turtles.

The story revolves around April O'Neil chasing a story involving chemicals that cause mutations. These chemicals are linked to an experiment her father used to be involved in. April begins to investigate and soon learns of “The Foot Clan” and their involvement with the recent crime spree in New York City. Before getting busted spying by “The Foot” The Ninja Turtles quickly appear and save the day. April witnesses this and as a result becomes obsessed with tracking down these so-called “Ninja Turtles”. Through this story we meet Will Arnett as Vernon, who was a rather forgettable character in the cartoon. The character in the film is slightly more fleshed out but is really just some schmuck obsessed with April. You should get used to that theme, because it will pop up in the story A LOT. There is a bit of awkward tension between April and Michelangelo. The turtles even full on cock-block Vernon at one point. Through April we also meet her boss played by Whoopi Goldberg. I'm not sure why Whoopi was chosen for the role because it really only features two throwaway scenes and Whoopi has certainly seen better days. It was not a good spotlight for her. I'd much rather see her reprise Guinan on Star Trek!

Once April becomes involved with the turtles we meet their master “Splinter” who is voiced by Tony Shalhoub. This has to be the worst casting choice in the entire movie. Shalhoub's voice is so distinctive that you can't picture anyone but “Monk” talking every time Splinter talks. It doesn't help that the CGI for Splinter is quite odd and looks borderline gross. He looks like a rat who is partially in a fetus state. Doesn't exactly scream likable kung-fu master.

The villain of the story is also introduced through April. April's father apparently worked with two men, one of them went on to become an evil billionaire. This evil billionaire was apparently raised by Shredder, and he uses his money to help Shredder gain a hold over New York City. The character reminded me a lot of “Max Shreck” from Batman Returns. He is a evil man who is invented out of convenience for the REAL main villain. There is a nice little nod at the beginning of the film when you see Sacks (evil billionaire) wearing a Grey suit with a purple tie. It looks very similar to Shredder's outfit in the original cartoon. While the Sacks character takes up most of the villain time, we do get treated to a bad-ass incarnation of Shredder. The Shredder character seems to be similar to most of his previous versions. He has a very deep menacing voice and a scarred up face. The major difference would be his battle attire which is a tad over the top. The armor consists of a vast array of knives. It actually makes him look so dangerous, you can't understand how anyone could even touch him. The way the suit moves is also very robotic and reminds me of Transformers or a villain from Soul Calibur. Overall tho, I was very pleased with the use of Shredder. I told myself that as long as Shredder was alright, I could enjoy the film.

The real downfall of the film comes with Megan Fox as April O'Neil. If you didn't like Megan Fox in the Transformers films, you're really not going to like her in this. It's more of the same. Lots of beauty shots of her lovely hot face, but once she talks you feel immediately turned off. The acting by Fox is quite wooden, and it's hard to believe she is ever in any real danger. The issue with this is, she is constantly in danger, even more so than the turtles! This movie should have been called “April O'Neil feat. The Ninja Turtles” because she is the subject of the film. This is almost not a Ninja Turtles movie at all, it just happens to feature them. The first 20-30 minutes of the film is mostly centered on Fox. I'm not sure what I don't like about it more, that the Turtles are second to her character, or that she is the actress playing the character. I can't help but wonder if I would like the character more, if the cast choice was better. The film ends up giving April more credit than the actual turtles when it's all said and done. If the turtles can't do it, April can!

Speaking of the turtles. Let's talk about them for a second. The turtles are similar enough to their characters in the cartoon. You won't get any of the darkness from the comics, but that's to be expected. Each turtle has one particular trait and that's about all there is to that character. Michelangelo's sole trait seems to be crushing on April. Leonardo is the leader, Raphael is the angry loner, and Donatello is a gigantic nerd. They will demonstrate these traits often. In terms of their look, they are wearing far too many accessories and that makes them look a little busy. They also sometimes wear glasses, which is fine but makes them feel a little obnoxious. Their fighting skills are pretty spot on, but they move insanely fast and if you get nauseated easily, you may get annoyed by that. Donatello seems to be the one who gets the most out of their weaponry. His staff proves to be quite resourceful.

Another thing you'll also see almost as much as April on screen is the PIZZA HUT logo! There is so much product placement in this film that the characters literally describe Pizza Hut pizza while the camera pans across a multitude of Pizza Hut brand boxes. It was like a product placement scene out of Wayne's World. I remember in the older films it was pretty heavy handed, but not quite this bad. If I hadn't had a pretty disgusting looking pizza from there recently, I may be tempted to order Pizza Hut after viewing the film.

In the end, I had to remind myself that this is a children's film and if I was 9 years old I might not care about the quality of the actors. The action scenes in the film are definitely high impact and intense, so for a kid hyped on sugar staring at the screen without a care in the world, it might be the right movie. If you are a child over the age of 12, or an adult hoping to relive the nostalgia of the late 80's, you may find yourself disappointed. This film serves it's purpose and I would say it's on par with the fully animated feature TMNT that came out a couple of years back. I think this film should have been fully animated like that one, since most of the CGI to human scenes came off wooden anyways. With the cameo by Baxter Stockman in the film (keep your eyes open) and the nod to other characters, I'm hoping maybe the sequels can further tap into that nostalgia part of TMNT that we all love. If you're looking for a brainless action movie to take the kids to, this would be an alright choice. If you are craving something a little more from your Turtles then I would suggest revisiting the 1990 classic film.

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Debut on NICK "Rise Of The Turtles"

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (2012) Episode One: "The Rise Of The Turtles"
Written by Stuart Cooper
Starring: Sean Astin, Jason Biggs, Rob Paulsen

Anyone reading this who knows me in real life will know that I’m a huge Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles fan. I grew up during the time period when TMNT was at its absolute peak. I have fond memories of wondering around the isles at Toys R’ Us mystified by the endless stream of Turtles related toys and vehicles! Christmas 1991 I actually received the ninja turtle’s sewer base, the pizza shooter vehicle, and several action figures from the show. It was probably one of my most memorable Christmas’s ever. I also remember renting the VHS tapes of the episodes over and over and over again. So it’s no mystery that I love Ninja Turtles. But now that I’m an adult and my imagination has diminished a bit, could I still enjoy a new TMNT related product? The answer is yes. This past week NICK debuted their new incarnation of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. I had been hearing about this new show for several months but hadn’t seen much footage. I saw the toys at my local Wal-Mart recently and was pretty impressed with what I saw (aside from Krang which we will get to). I basically went into this debut blind with low expectations, and I finished the viewing impressed. The show debuted in a one hour feature called “Rise of the Turtles”. The story would closely follow some ideas set up in the original series except slightly altered. Let’s dive right into it shall we!

The show begins with showing us each turtle practicing their skills in their underground sewer headquarters. The movements of the characters are very quick, and the animation is very smooth and colorful. The style of the turtles is definitely kiddy and kind of reminds me of that “Chibi” Japanese style animation where the characters heads get real big and their bodies stay the same. Takes some getting used to, but I understand there is no sense in redoing the show unless you make some changes. The turtles are voiced by some pretty notable celebrities…Sean Astin voices Raphael, Jason Biggs voices Leonardo, Greg Cipes plays Michelangelo and Rob Paulsen from THE ORIGINAL TMNT returns except this time he voices Donatello instead of Raphael. Pretty funny that he voices a different character this time around. Why wouldn’t you just recast him in the same role? Does it really make that much of a difference? These voice choices end up being pretty good and maintain those lovable turtle voices we all enjoy.

Splinter and April O’Neil are then introduced and while Splinter is pretty similar to his previous incarnations, April O’Neil appears to be a young teenage girl and not a reporter (at least that they’ve shown so far). It was also made clear that one of the turtles had the hots for April. This is something that was teased in the movies and older shows but never really addressed. I’m not sure how I feel about a martial artist radiation filled turtle wanting to be with a teenage girl…will be interesting to see if they follow up on that. The enemy in the episode comes in the form of zombified humans that appear to be under control of “The Krang”, notice I said the Krang and not just Krang…it’s because there is apparently an entire army of Krangs this time as oppose to one giant menacing Krang. This was really the only complaint I had. Krang in this version appears to be a race of robots with living beings inside their stomachs. While I realize the original came from a planet of other Krangs, they were never really villains in the series. This is fine I suppose, but I’ll be interested to see if they reveal some type of Master/leader Krang. The turtles basically spend the entire episode investigating these Krang beings and eventually we are shown a brief glimpse of Shredder who resembles Shao Kahn (Mortal Kombat) quite a bit. I’m pretty interested to see the turtles square off against him.

Overall I think the new show has promise. The turtles are still the goofy joke cracking heroes they were before, but this incarnation seems to offer a bit more serious aspect (I said A BIT, so don’t get too excited). What I’m referring to is one particular scene where the turtles capture a thug and threaten to torture him by pouring ooze on his face and turning him into a monster. I thought that was something the old cheesy turtles would have never done. So there is certainly a difference. The animation is smooth, the voices are spot on, and the original content is still ingrained. I think if you are a TMNT fan at heart you will enjoy the show and give it a chance. Oh and the new theme song is actually pretty catchy!

Retro Game Review: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles in "The Fall of the Foot Clan" for Gameboy

Written by Stuart Cooper

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Fall of the Foot Clan (Gameboy,1990)

One thing I wanted to start doing on this blog was revisit older video games. One system I've always been quite fond of is the Nintendo Gameboy. When I was younger I had a pretty massive gameboy collection but unfortunately sold most of my games. Since then I've gone back and recollected multiple games from my childhood. One of those games was "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Fall of the Foot Clan". There were 3 TMNT games for the original gameboy and I plan on reviewing all three of them eventually. This game was released in 1990 by Konami in the midst of the TMNT craze that was sweeping the globe. I grew up during the Turtles era and I collected pretty much everything Ninja Turtles. The video games were no exception.

This turtles adventure is a very basic side scrolling adventure game. It is not really similar to any of the arcade or home console games, but is a side scrolling game none the less. The game opens up with a story informing you that April has been kidnapped (go figure) and it is up to the four Ninja Turtles to find and save her. Upon starting up the game you can actually do quite a bit. You can change the controls to fit your comfort, you can choose any of the four turtles, and you can even choose which level to start on! The only catch is that if you don't start from Level 1 you will not receive the full ending of the game, so that is certainly a good reason to just suck it up and start from the beginning. I was able to make it through the entire game and beat it in one sitting, so you shouldn't have too many issues with the difficulty. The game still has a fair amount of challenge, but is relatively short and easy compared to some of the other turtles games. The turtles can do three things, attack, jump, and if you hold down and the attack button you can throw shurikens at your enemy! This makes your turtles pretty fierce and really the only challenging parts will come with some of the jumps. The level design is your basic sewer background, city background, factory, an outdoor level and parts of the technodrome.

The enemies consist of Foot clan members, mousers, flying robots that look like giant flies, and those rolling robots that shoot out wires. You will see lots of familiar characters, so they at least got that much right. The boss battles are my favorite part because they feature pretty much all the iconic villains in the series. The first level boss is Rocksteady, second level is Bebop, third level is Baxter Stockman, fourth level is Shredder, and the final boss is Krang! The villains actually look quite good as well. As a matter of fact the graphics are quite crisp for a early gameboy game, I was very pleased with that aspect of the game. The only issue with the villains is that they are just too easy! Shredder was one of the easiest bosses in the game and you can't help but wish he was more menacing. At first I found it odd that Krang was the boss and not Shredder but I do remember early on in the series Shredder seemed to answer to Krang and do his bidding, so that makes sense. The game also features a great sounding soundtrack considering it's limited gameboy capacity. The tracks are various incarnations of the turtles theme music, with some different music being played during the story scenes and epilogue.

Overall I would consider this game to be a great addition to any classic gaming collection. The game itself can be found pretty cheap on amazon or ebay, I personally got my copy for less than 5 dollars and I would definitely consider it worth the money. If anything it will give you a nice trip down memory lane and remind you of the good old days when cowabunga and pizza were all the rage. Hopefully I can pick up the other two TMNT gameboy games and review those as well.